The Australian Seniors Series: Empty Nesters Report 2024

• New research reveals the highs and lows of being an empty nester in 2024, compared to a previous 2018 study
• A growing trend of ‘boomerang kids’ are moving back home, citing financial struggles as the number one reason for their return
• Most parents would prefer their kids to continue living out of home but will make exceptions
• Three quarters of empty nesters continue to financially support their children since they left home

As many of us reach the stage where our children have grown up and left home, we experience a mix of emotions. It’s common to feel both a sense of pride in our children’s independence and feelings of sadness and loss about a quieter, empty nest.

While most of us expect to become empty nesters at some point in our lives, there’s been an interesting turn of events in recent years. The mounting cost of living crisis combined with housing affordability issues has seen a rising trend of ‘boomerang kids’. This term describes waves of adult kids returning home due to external pressures such as the cost-of-living crisis and housing affordability. Many of us are now facing a new reality, welcoming our grown-up children back to the nest.

The Empty Nesters Report 2024 forms part of the Australian Seniors Research Series, exploring issues that matter most to Australians over 50. Surveying more than 1,200 seniors, this chapter explores our experience of empty nest syndrome in 2024, with comparisons from our 2018 study. The report also uncovers the impacts of children returning home, from shifting family dynamics to setting expectations.

The highs and lows of an empty nest

When our children leave home, we often experience a mix of positive and negative feelings. Often in the form of pride and loneliness – an interesting mix to say the least! In fact, more than 2 in 5 (44%) of us felt proud, while close to 3 in 10 (29%) felt happy. However, feelings of sadness (36%) and worry (29%) are also common. Women were more likely to feel sad (44% vs. 27%) and worried (34% vs. 24%), while men were happier to have the home to themselves (54% vs. 46%).

Despite these mixed emotions, 7 in 10 (70%) of us enjoy the extra time that comes with our children living out of home. We’re embracing the opportunity to re-prioritise ourselves and our relationships, with over 2 in 5 (41%) spending more time with our partners, and over a third (35%) taking up new hobbies or interests. What was also observed was that after the children moved out, close to one in five (18%) couples experienced an improvement in their relationship, mainly due to having more time to spend with each other (77%), a greater focus on improving the relationship (45%), and more energy for shared activities (42%).

A significant proportion of us have also noticed financial improvements (64%) now we are no longer financially supporting our children. More than half (51%) of us feel less guilty about spending money on ourselves, with travel and holidays (55%) emerging as the most common expense.

Interestingly, a quarter (25%) of us have even adopted ‘fur babies’, hoping a pet can fill the void of our empty nest. Close to two-thirds (65%) admit that pets have helped with the transition, providing the companionship that we miss when our children were living at home.

Of course, there are also downsides to becoming an empty nester. The worst aspects of children moving out include missing them (65%), having less frequent contact (61%), and worrying more (56%). It seems that no matter how prepared we are, we always miss our children when they leave. In fact, over half (51%) of current empty nesters and almost two-thirds (65%) of former empty nesters wish our kids had stayed at home longer.

What’s driving the boomerang children trend?

In recent years, we’ve observed an increasing trend where a whole generation of adult kids are moving back into the family home after already living out of home. Considering the cost-of-living crisis and the pressure of unaffordable housing, it seems many of us are opening the doors to our boomerang kids to help them with this challenging stage of life.

Financial struggles are the top overall reason for almost two in five (39%) of our boomerang kids moving back home, reflecting the extent to which cost of living pressures are impacting young adults. This is closely followed by relationship and personal issues (30%), and a lack of alternative living options (28%) afforded to the housing and rental crises.

But how do we really feel about our adult kids returning home? In truth, most of us see this option as a last resort, and something we will only consider in exceptional circumstances. For example, if our kids had nowhere else to go (85%), were experiencing financial (83%), personal (77%), or relationship struggles (73%), or were going through major life events (63%). It’s a tough decision, but one that many of us are willing to make to support our children.

However, as many as four in five (80%) of us wouldn’t encourage our children to move back in with us. Instead, we prefer our children develop a sense of independence (85%) and an ability to stand on their own feet (66%), allowing us to enjoy our retirement (34%) and the family home to ourselves (27%). It’s important for both us and our children to maintain a sense of independence and personal space.

Changing family dynamics

Of course, welcoming the kids back home comes with some adjustments. For those of us with boomerang children who’ve returned home, close to half (47%) have had to make sacrifices to accommodate their return. These include losing rooms in the home (23%), altering daily schedules (15%), and eating out less (15%).

In turn, many of us have set clear boundaries and expectations for our newly returned boomerang kids, to help balance the household dynamics and ensuring everyone contributes. Acknowledging their independence as adults, most of us expect them to help with chores (76%) and contribute to the household budget (62%).

While adjusting to a full nest can be challenging, bringing the family back together can be a rewarding and enjoyable experience. In fact, more than half (51%) of us with boomerang kids feel happier with them back at home.

When our children moved back home, three in 10 (30%) of us experienced improved parent-child relationships, where spending more time together (60%) and engaging in shared activities (54%) have strengthened family bonds. In comparison, just over two in three (64%) of us feel the move had an insignificant impact, and only a fraction (6%) feel the relationship had worsened.

With some adaptability and enforcing new expectations, a full nest can be a joyful event that we will inevitably see more of. According to Elisabeth Shaw from Relationships Australia, "this life stage brings about mixed feelings and will take time to adjust. Quite a few factors will influence the success of this transition. Whether the move is for positive reasons, the relationships are on good terms, and there is a good connection that offers reassurance that contact will be maintained, will all help ease worry and sadness.”

“I strongly recommend that the terms of the arrangements are agreed, and frank conversations are had before the move back in. It is much easier to discuss risks and potential hurdles before they have happened, when everyone is most keen to make it work.” 

Discover the latest insights into being an empty nester in 2024 here.

Dr Elisabeth Shaw BA (Hons) M.Mgt. (Comm) MCFT; MProf Ethics, FAPS (FCCOUNP; FCCLP); GAICD.

Elisabeth is the CEO of Relationships Australia (NSW). Elisabeth is a clinical and counselling psychologist with extensive experience in relationship services. In addition to leadership in clinical governance and professional ethics, she also coaches executives within the not for profit and public sectors.  She has taught at ACU, UNSW and Newcastle universities in areas of clinical practice, management and professional ethics, and routinely presents and publishes work in these areas. She is a senior consultant at The Ethics Centre, a graduate of the Australian Institute of Company Directors, and sits on a number of Boards.